Staying the course

Well, it's January 19, and I am STILL going strong with my Resolution to get fit and lose weight!  I have lost a total of 5.5 lbs since January 4 (yes, I started late, after the Kirby Family Christmas party January 3!)  Thought I sabotaged myself in Sag Harbor during Grandma's services, but started back full blast when I got home.

Luckily, got LOTS of workout time in the driveway, shoveling snow.  Baby's been sick, so doing most of my workouts at home, mainly Jillian Michaels DVDs.  It WORKS!  Of course, been on the Weight Watcher core program, which really fills you up.

Okay, just wanted to brag a bit!  Hope your resolutions are still strong!

Tribute to my Grandma Kirby..courtesy of her youngest child Frank

As most of you know, my grandmother passed away January 7. I am still struggling with my grief.  I thought it would be "cut and dry": she's in a better place, this is a good thing, rejoice in the fact she is finally back with Grandpa.  There was so much I didn't and still don't know about her.  I spent so much energy, worrying about getting my mom to places she "had " to be, the wake, the house, etc.  In that time, I forgot to do my own grieving and remembering.  So, now it is catching up with me.

I have been struggling this past week since my return from Sag Harbor.  We said farewell to my grandmother.  I could spend 5 days typing all the stuff that is going on in my head, but I will share the eulogy by my uncle Frank, a gifted writer who knew Grandma better than I, and summed up her "essence" in a mere 5  pages (double spaced...sorry for the formatting!).

Oops, again, not able to cut and paste in the blog...please see comments for the story of my grandma.

What a week.... Grandma 10/19/1915 - 01/07/2009

We have had quite a week.  We finally realized how bad the economy is affecting us.  We are having extended family conflicts.  And, to top it off, my Grandma passed away early this morning.

This actually, is a blessing.  My grandma has been declining for some time.  Her struggle is over, she is, Praise God, finally, back with her beloved husband of 63 years.  I pray my mother, her oldest, deals with this loss in a peaceful resolution to a relationship that wasn't always loving or of admiration.

Grandma was not a "warm fuzzy".  She was not the extrovert Grandpa was.  See my post from a few months ago.  My mom is a type of person who needs constant positive reinforcement.  Grandma, mother of 7, was not always able to openly praise all her children all the time.  My mother grew to resent this, especially in later years, as she went through a divorce.  Growing up, at times, I resented this lack of warmth as well, but, in the opposite direction, realized Grandma always loved me, even if she did not demonstrate it directly, or even indirectly.  She did the best she could.  I pray, that in the next few trying days of the wake and funeral, my Mom can realize that. 

Please keep my grandma, Agnes Kirby, as well as my mom, Mary McFeeley in your prayers.  Thank you, God, for bringing my grandma to you and Grandpa, and please give my mom peace, make her realize she WAS cherished by her mother, always.

Kicking butt!

Okay, got my workout in before 9 am!  If you want to sweat your a$$ off,  go to jillianmichaels.com, order her DVDs.  Ouch!  My quads are killing me!!!  Now, to stick to Weight Watchers Core....

Resolutions...

Happy New Year!

My resolutions?  One: To gain more followers!  My 11 year old has more fans reading her blog than I do mine!

Two: To lose 50 pounds.  Or at least start towards that.  The picture to the right being my "before" shot.  I'll look hot in anything but that "Ugly Betty/Michelin Man" down jacket!

Three: Help my stepson lose 15 pounds.  He's my guinea pig.  In my next life, I want to be a personal trainer, however, must get buff myself.  And if I can do it, I want to help others do it too.

Four: To be more patient with people, especially my kids and my mother.

Five:  to get a job!!! Well, I do have a per diem job, to do home care for pregnant ladies.  Does that count?  I guess I should say: "get a hospital job; part time or per diem".

Six: pay down my credit card debt.

Seven: Take my mother on a vacation.  A real one.  One that involves getting on a jet.  She's never been on one (A jet, or a vacation involving a jet).  To achieve this:

Eight: Sell my mom's condo.

And finally,

Nine: Move into  a bigger house.   Better work on numbers 5, 6, and, if we build an in-law for mom (that's a BIG if), number 8.

Wish me luck!  Hold me accountable if you see me at Hometown Buffet! Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday, Little Bro!

Today is the Darkest Day of the Year, the Winter Solstice.  Also my brother Tom's birthday (AKA TommyMac71, I think, on Blogger).  Our relationship the first half of our lives was, well, typical sibling stuff....punching, pinching, yelling, tattling "He/she's looking at me!" )  I was the oldest, he was three and a half years younger, the first of my two younger brothers.  I was jealous of him, as he was very smart, seemingly with little effort.  He did better socially, he had 3 girlfriends in kindergarten, I had my first boyfriend junior year in high school.  He and my brother always had friends over, I hid in my room, usually studying.  He got to go away to school, and party, while I choose to live at home and commute to WestConn in Danbury.  I always felt he mocked me, as he should of, I was a control freak who made him run flashcards with me as I was failing A & P in freshman year of nursing.  We never talked much, I just figured we had nothing in common.  He was into current events and sports; I was (and still am) clueless about politics, and choose my baseball teams based on the cutest players (1980 Royals, hands down, with George Brett on third base, what a hottie!)  He always did more than I did.  He was the editor of the high school yearbook.  He was a DJ at his college radio  station (granted, only 3 listeners, but hey, he was on the air!) He was editor of his college paper ("The Ionian: The Paper With An Attitude!  And he can write, well. I always admired him, but felt he was less than enthusiastic about me, his goody-goody big sister.

I was wrong.  One day, I got an email chain letter.  You know the type, you're given a list of questions to answer honestly, and you mail it back to the sender, plus whoever was on the "list".  Back then, I worked evening shift, and would "unwind" by reading and responding to my email.  This email was sent to me and my brothers by a college friend of Tom's Jimmy O'Neil. (on whom I had a huge crush; but, when Jimmy came over, I'd be studying in my room, but I digress).   I can't remember the particular question, but the answer my brother Tom had given was "My sister is the bravest person I know".

Brave? Was he crazy?  I had recently moved back home with my nearly 2 year old in tow after my marriage fell apart.  I was a complete failure.  Brave?  I get scared watching  a roller coaster.  But, since that time, he has repeated this statement, always in writing.  He is more comfortable talking with his pen.  Those words got me through one of the worst periods of my life.  My attitude towards my brother changed the night I read his answers to that chain email.  I realized the journey I was on took a lot of guts.  I'm hoping, that as his life takes challenging professional and personal twists and turns, that he too has that Irish strength needed for the unknowns in our lives.  We are truly Gaels: Irish warriors.

Happy Birthday, Tom.  I hope you had a good day, and I'll have a GREAT dinner of Shepherd's Pie awaiting you after you "conquer" the stores with Erin tomorrow!

I love you.  You are the best!

Thank you, Mr. Velez (and Mr. Genovas

The two gentlemen mentioned were teachers I had at Immaculate High School in Danbury,CT.   I am grateful to them because they, in their creative educational styles, introduced me to the work of Jimmy Stewart..

Mr. Genovas  (or was it Genova?) was my Way Liberal Social Studies teacher.  Despite our polar opposite beliefs, he was a great teacher.  He made me understand the systems of government.  Where does Jimmy S. fit in here?  We viewed the classic film "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington".  Wow.  I was blown away by the character and what he stood for.  Plus, I learned all about filibusters, but in my old age forget how they work...gotta put Mr. Smith on my Netflix queue!

Mr. Velez, one of my English teachers, the week before Christmas showed us a movie I had never heard of.  It was about this man on the brink of suicide on Christmas Eve, because his not-so-swift Uncle misplaced $8000 of the family business's money, and the company was being visited by the Bank Examiner.  

No one in that class in 1985 (or maybe 1984. again the memory going) had heard of It's a Wonderful Life.  It was the start of the resurgence, the marathons on TBS, the God Awful Colorized bastardization, the period of time when the film was actually being discovered as a great film for the first time since its post-World War II release.  Again, I was taken in by this decent character, who's dreams never materialized, as life as we know it got in the way.  But George Bailey realized his life WAS a dream come true, beautiful wife, cute kids, a big old drafty house, family and friends who loved and appreciated him.

I was so excited about this movie.  At the dinner table, I told my parents and brothers about it.  They, too, had never heard of the movie.  We rented it, and we all fell in love with it.  (Well, not sure about my brother Tom, whose December 21st birthday caused him to hate all things related to Christmas.  Check out his blog).  Each year after that, the holiday season was not complete without a viewing of the picture.  In fact, in various moves the past few years, we tended to buy the video, then later the DVD, forgetting we had a copy WAY in the back of the video cabinet! 

  I watch it at least once during the holidays, occasionally during the summer on a real humid day to feel good (and a bit cooler).  Wonderful Life trivia:  filming took place during a very HOT summer...all those actors in heavy coats in August!  Yea, gads!   It has come in handy, I have had 3 Ghoul Pool hits from the cast ( Sheldon Leonard (Nick the Bartender), Ellen Corby (Grandma Walton/ Building and Loan customer seeking 17.50 to tide her over until the banks re-opened), and, my proudest G.P. hit ever, little Bobbie Anderson, little George Bailey, a steal from my sister-in-law.

But, seriously.  It makes me focus on what is important, family and friends.  Each year, I see how much more I really have in life.  If you haven;t watched it lately (or never have), rent it today.

Thanks again, Mr. Velez.

 BTW:  The photo above was last Christmas, 4 weeks after Elizabeth was born, and Neil's and my first Christmas as husband and wife. That was a day I felt truly blessed in spending the day with my growing family.