Today is the Darkest Day of the Year, the Winter Solstice. Also my brother Tom's birthday (AKA TommyMac71, I think, on Blogger). Our relationship the first half of our lives was, well, typical sibling stuff....punching, pinching, yelling, tattling "He/she's looking at me!" ) I was the oldest, he was three and a half years younger, the first of my two younger brothers. I was jealous of him, as he was very smart, seemingly with little effort. He did better socially, he had 3 girlfriends in kindergarten, I had my first boyfriend junior year in high school. He and my brother always had friends over, I hid in my room, usually studying. He got to go away to school, and party, while I choose to live at home and commute to WestConn in Danbury. I always felt he mocked me, as he should of, I was a control freak who made him run flashcards with me as I was failing A & P in freshman year of nursing. We never talked much, I just figured we had nothing in common. He was into current events and sports; I was (and still am) clueless about politics, and choose my baseball teams based on the cutest players (1980 Royals, hands down, with George Brett on third base, what a hottie!) He always did more than I did. He was the editor of the high school yearbook. He was a DJ at his college radio station (granted, only 3 listeners, but hey, he was on the air!) He was editor of his college paper ("The Ionian: The Paper With An Attitude! And he can write, well. I always admired him, but felt he was less than enthusiastic about me, his goody-goody big sister.
I was wrong. One day, I got an email chain letter. You know the type, you're given a list of questions to answer honestly, and you mail it back to the sender, plus whoever was on the "list". Back then, I worked evening shift, and would "unwind" by reading and responding to my email. This email was sent to me and my brothers by a college friend of Tom's Jimmy O'Neil. (on whom I had a huge crush; but, when Jimmy came over, I'd be studying in my room, but I digress). I can't remember the particular question, but the answer my brother Tom had given was "My sister is the bravest person I know".
Brave? Was he crazy? I had recently moved back home with my nearly 2 year old in tow after my marriage fell apart. I was a complete failure. Brave? I get scared watching a roller coaster. But, since that time, he has repeated this statement, always in writing. He is more comfortable talking with his pen. Those words got me through one of the worst periods of my life. My attitude towards my brother changed the night I read his answers to that chain email. I realized the journey I was on took a lot of guts. I'm hoping, that as his life takes challenging professional and personal twists and turns, that he too has that Irish strength needed for the unknowns in our lives. We are truly Gaels: Irish warriors.
Happy Birthday, Tom. I hope you had a good day, and I'll have a GREAT dinner of Shepherd's Pie awaiting you after you "conquer" the stores with Erin tomorrow!
I love you. You are the best!
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