I'm still SICK!

Ugh.  Another cold, that lasts, like a month.

Of course, it started with my little daughter Elizabeth starting at day care on March 2.  She's had a running nose ever since.  Coughing, with an oh, so thick, viscous ever present booger hanging from her nose.  She was acting okay, until last week.  Last week, of course, Erin gets it...bad.  She actually...hold onto your hat...voluntarily missed a day of school (and only because the following day was a teacher's inservice.)  So, I'm going to work at 2 jobs, getting kids to the doctor, and I feel the tickle start in my throat last Saturday.  Sunday morning comes, now both Lizzie and I have beautiful green boogers.

I have been begging for death, or at least a mild coma ever since.  Since I'm new at my job, I've gone in (hey, at least it's part time).  So Tuesday and Thursday, I rested, a little bit.  Except when I cooked dinners for the rest of the week.  And went to Erin's choral concert Tuesday (Neil forgot about the concert; had to stay home to wait for a guy buying tires from him).  Thankfully, my friend Lisa saw me at the concert with the baby, looking like death warmed over, and ordered me to go home, as she would take Erin home afterwards.  (She and I lead parallel lives; I'll blog on that some day).

Today, I only wished for death/coma once.  Actually a coma would be good.  I'd get a bit of a break, and be able to wake up when I felt able to live life again.   Okay, I'll take a coma!  But I'll settle for a nap, naps are good.  They just never last long enough.  Thank God tomorrow is my late day into work, I can sleep until,  like 7!  Hey, things are looking up!

See you back here, when I'm not longing for a coma anymore.  When it's around 60 degrees on a normal basis!

Woo Hoo! The celebrations of old foagies like me!

I know I'm old now.   Make that mature.

When I was 10, joy was a new episode of The Hardy Boy Mysteries with my man, Shaun P. Cassidy (anyone know what the "P" stands for...without consulting IMDb???)  Today, joy is in lab values.

My doctor, Dr. Brad Wilkinson, left me a message, and called my cell phone with awesome news: I dropped my total cholesterol from 240 to 218, and my "bad" cholesterol (I think it's the HDL?  I'm a nurse, and can NEVER get the two straight!!) went from 157 to 138.  So, no medication for Big Mary Cool!  But, the best, was in both instances, he said: "I'm proud of you".  He's VERY tough on me, so those words are priceless!

When I find myself comparing cholesterol values, and cholesterol busting diet tips with my younger brothers, I think: "Wow, we are OLD now".  But, we aren't.  We just are mature enough to know: "Hey, if we don't straighten this out, we could have lots of issues later, or drop dead."  Our grandfather died of a heart attack in his 40s, Grandma McFeeley was diabetic, our Dad had triple bypass surgery 2 years ago.  

Yes, I want to be "cut" in 6 months.  But, I also want to see my girls get married, and give me grandchildren.  I want to be Ryan's cool 80 plus year old Aunt.  It is hard to drag my a$$ out of bed at 4:45 am (yes, on work days...), but, I think of the long term as opposed to the hot swim suit (notice, I did not use the term "bikini"; check in with me in 2 months!)  And nothing beats hearing my doctor say :"I'm proud of you".  Except the fact I'M proud of me.

A Year Older....

Yesterday was my birthday.  Today, I go see my doctor to follow up on my cholesterol.  Been working out hard, but hitting a plateau with the weight loss.  So, in order for Dr. Brad to be pleased, my blood's gotta show the result. Daily oatmeal with flaxseed, fish oil, lower fat diet (Why did I re-schedule the day after my birthday....are Rusty Nails cholesterol fighting magic potions????  Hmmm. maybe I could do a study!)

I'm on Facebook now, and I had THIRTY birthday wishes on my wall.  WOW!  I am truly blessed.  I knew, just with my little circle: Neil, Erin, Lizzie, Leo, my mom, Tom, Sean, Ryan: I have more blessings than required.  Sorry, not very creative today, just feeling very grateful for all I have.

The Oscars...YAWN!

Now, not sure if I passed out from boredom, or because I'm recovering from a nasty GI bug...I was in bed by 10pm, probably earlier.

LOVED Hugh Jackman.  Hated that Seth Rogan skit.  A yearbook theme??? Just announce the winners, so we can all get to bed.

But, hey, I picked 14 winners....enough for the McFeeley/Fregosi Oscar pool?  Probably not.  I should have picked Slum Dog straight down the line!

9 pounds and counting!

The past few weeks have been tough.  Elizabeth and I battling a cold (Neil, too), we haven't seen Leo in a while, and the economy has taken it's toll on us. (I'm waiting for my first Matria paycheck!)  Usually, I deal with these things with ice cream, or fresh baked cookies.

However, I have lost NINE pounds! In four weeks!  Of course, this weigh in was Sunday morning, HOURS before the chips and dip came out!  I admit, I indulged, not too badly, but, all that rich dip upset my tummy.  Wow, I've really de-toxed myself!  So, even with all the depressing things going on, I work out 5 times a week, mostly here at home, as Lizzie's runy nose would be looked down upon if I went to drop her off at Childwatch at the Y.  Which is a good thing, as next month, we have to give up the YMCA for a few months, as it is one of the many things we are cutting out of the budget, until I'm making a steady salary.  Wish me luck...on all fronts!

Staying the course

Well, it's January 19, and I am STILL going strong with my Resolution to get fit and lose weight!  I have lost a total of 5.5 lbs since January 4 (yes, I started late, after the Kirby Family Christmas party January 3!)  Thought I sabotaged myself in Sag Harbor during Grandma's services, but started back full blast when I got home.

Luckily, got LOTS of workout time in the driveway, shoveling snow.  Baby's been sick, so doing most of my workouts at home, mainly Jillian Michaels DVDs.  It WORKS!  Of course, been on the Weight Watcher core program, which really fills you up.

Okay, just wanted to brag a bit!  Hope your resolutions are still strong!

Tribute to my Grandma Kirby..courtesy of her youngest child Frank

As most of you know, my grandmother passed away January 7. I am still struggling with my grief.  I thought it would be "cut and dry": she's in a better place, this is a good thing, rejoice in the fact she is finally back with Grandpa.  There was so much I didn't and still don't know about her.  I spent so much energy, worrying about getting my mom to places she "had " to be, the wake, the house, etc.  In that time, I forgot to do my own grieving and remembering.  So, now it is catching up with me.

I have been struggling this past week since my return from Sag Harbor.  We said farewell to my grandmother.  I could spend 5 days typing all the stuff that is going on in my head, but I will share the eulogy by my uncle Frank, a gifted writer who knew Grandma better than I, and summed up her "essence" in a mere 5  pages (double spaced...sorry for the formatting!).

Oops, again, not able to cut and paste in the blog...please see comments for the story of my grandma.

What a week.... Grandma 10/19/1915 - 01/07/2009

We have had quite a week.  We finally realized how bad the economy is affecting us.  We are having extended family conflicts.  And, to top it off, my Grandma passed away early this morning.

This actually, is a blessing.  My grandma has been declining for some time.  Her struggle is over, she is, Praise God, finally, back with her beloved husband of 63 years.  I pray my mother, her oldest, deals with this loss in a peaceful resolution to a relationship that wasn't always loving or of admiration.

Grandma was not a "warm fuzzy".  She was not the extrovert Grandpa was.  See my post from a few months ago.  My mom is a type of person who needs constant positive reinforcement.  Grandma, mother of 7, was not always able to openly praise all her children all the time.  My mother grew to resent this, especially in later years, as she went through a divorce.  Growing up, at times, I resented this lack of warmth as well, but, in the opposite direction, realized Grandma always loved me, even if she did not demonstrate it directly, or even indirectly.  She did the best she could.  I pray, that in the next few trying days of the wake and funeral, my Mom can realize that. 

Please keep my grandma, Agnes Kirby, as well as my mom, Mary McFeeley in your prayers.  Thank you, God, for bringing my grandma to you and Grandpa, and please give my mom peace, make her realize she WAS cherished by her mother, always.

Kicking butt!

Okay, got my workout in before 9 am!  If you want to sweat your a$$ off,  go to jillianmichaels.com, order her DVDs.  Ouch!  My quads are killing me!!!  Now, to stick to Weight Watchers Core....

Resolutions...

Happy New Year!

My resolutions?  One: To gain more followers!  My 11 year old has more fans reading her blog than I do mine!

Two: To lose 50 pounds.  Or at least start towards that.  The picture to the right being my "before" shot.  I'll look hot in anything but that "Ugly Betty/Michelin Man" down jacket!

Three: Help my stepson lose 15 pounds.  He's my guinea pig.  In my next life, I want to be a personal trainer, however, must get buff myself.  And if I can do it, I want to help others do it too.

Four: To be more patient with people, especially my kids and my mother.

Five:  to get a job!!! Well, I do have a per diem job, to do home care for pregnant ladies.  Does that count?  I guess I should say: "get a hospital job; part time or per diem".

Six: pay down my credit card debt.

Seven: Take my mother on a vacation.  A real one.  One that involves getting on a jet.  She's never been on one (A jet, or a vacation involving a jet).  To achieve this:

Eight: Sell my mom's condo.

And finally,

Nine: Move into  a bigger house.   Better work on numbers 5, 6, and, if we build an in-law for mom (that's a BIG if), number 8.

Wish me luck!  Hold me accountable if you see me at Hometown Buffet! Happy New Year!