I'm not viable!

I had a job interview Monday.

I am interviewing for a position in labor and delivery/postpartum/nursery.  I have 5 years experience in these areas, but my last job in that speciality was 4 years ago.  As a single mom, I left this area, as Erin was in school all day, and I felt a day job would be better.  As a result, I tried on different hats: nursing director working with troubled adolescents, intake nurse at a VNA, teaching, office work.  I discovered I wanted to go back to moms and babies.  I learned a lot in these experiences, but I am now able to work nights and weekends, as I have  a supportive partner home with the kids.

I wasn't totally cast aside in my interview.  The director of the department put it this way: "I want to give the search another six weeks, as I really want someone with recent (labor and delivery) experience on the night shift.  So, at the end of those six weeks, if there is no interest from those potential candidates, you will be a viable candidate at that time.  So, don't be too discouraged."  

Wow.  I'm not viable at this time.  This is why I decided not to continue to be a manager, to escape telling someone they are not viable for a position they were seeking from me.   So, I nodded, agreed (although, seething inside), and came home and wrote her a thank you note, expressing my gratitude for her time.  Just play the Game. So, I'll focus on being a mom.

I'm a bit angry at myself, for not disagreeing openly with her.  Not pointing out that it is rude to tell someone who has been a nurse for 18 years that she is not qualified at this time for a job she is passionate about, but, she might get sloppy seconds in a month and a half.  

I really hate the games we must play in life.  But, I need to accept things as they happen.  Hey, I know I AM a great nurse.  But, God is telling me that, at this time, my baby and family  need me, more than those moms and babes at the hospital.  So, I will keep busy, strive to be a Domestic Goddess, and when I achieve that, when I least expect it, that call will come from the hospital.  At least, I hope so!